The Longest Week Ever

I knew that Brian enjoyed to hunt when I met him 5 years ago. I knew that he had a passion for being outside, watching nature, and the thrill of that chase. I even knew that he goes on week long trips once or twice a year with Bruce. These trips have been harder for me as the years passed though.

The first year (2005) was just fine because, although I missed him terribly, I was living on my own and kept busy the entire time he was gone. It was my second year teaching and it encompassed me. The next year (2006) was harder because we had just bought and moved into a house together. Being alone was tough because, for some reason, I didn't feel ready to be alone in the house. I didn't feel comfortable with it yet - it wasn't ours somehow. 2007 brought a different feeling altogether. We had gotten married a few short months prior to his leaving and when he left I had this nagging feeling that my husband had just left for a week. I mean, I was comfortable in our house but for some reason I missed him more because of the simple fact that he was my husband. Nothing else had changed - it was just that he had become my husband. I felt the same way last year when left. We had been trying to get pregnant and I missed him a lot (like the year before) but I was also a little relieved that we were able to take a break from all of the stress that trying to conceive brought to our lives.

However, this year brings new feelings that I am not sure how to harness. I am certain some of them have to do with the fact that I am 29 weeks pregnant, but I miss him desperately! My mom has said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" but forget that! My heart is already fond - I love him, I married him, I am having a baby with him - my heart is already fond!! I just want to be able to hug him and have him talk with me and Adelle. She misses him too in fact. When he left he put his hands on my belly and talked with her. He told her that he would be gone for a few days and that he was coming back soon. He said to take care of me and not to kick me too hard. She immediately started kicking and moving at the sound of his voice!! That night, when I started reading she kicked me once as if to say, "You're not the one who should be reading. Where's Daddy?" Now, when I read at night she kicks a little bit, but when I talk about Daddy she kicks more!

Don't get me wrong, I want Brian to "get" an elk while he's out there, but I also want him to be here with us. So until I get that phone call or text, saying that he is on his way back to his uncle's house (the first stop before coming home), it will continue to be the longest week ever!