Lose Yourself

Last August I ran my first 5k. It was the MN State Fair Milk Run. I signed up again for the end of this month... my second 5k... my second Milk Run!!

I am really excited and terrified at the same time. I did this last year and I rocked, so why would I be terrified? I am scared that I will finish with a slower time than I did last year. I am scared that my new shoes won't be broken-in by then. I am scared that my asthma will rear its ugly head. I am scared that I will get hurt.

Well... I'm done being scared.

All I need to do is listen to the beats, say the words and my feet will follow.

I can do this and it will be awesome!!

Thank you for helping me Eminem!

'You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo!'

1 Hour

Can 1 hour change your life?

I have been watching episodes of One Tree Hill lately, and tonight I watched Pictures of You. The episode questions if 1 hour can really change your life. It did, of course, for the fictional students of One Tree Hill and I think it will change my life too.

You see, since high school, my weight has slowly but surely crept up the scale like the freaking Little Engine that Could. There was a time when my weight started going down, but that was when I was living in my adorable studio apartment when Brian and I first started dating. Living on my own was awesome - I didn't want to dirty my cozy kitchen, and I couldn't do dishes too often so I didn't eat/cook as much! I would also meet Brian at the gym and that is where we had a lot of our dates.

After we got married though, the weight came back. Soon we started trying to have a baby so I joined WW and started losing weight. Within a month I was pregnant and they said it would not be good to continue the program (it isn't designed for pregnant women). Well, it has been 2 years since I had Adelle and I still haven't lost the weight I gained when I was pregnant. It's both frustrating and disappointing - neither feeling is good when you are an emotional eater!

Tonight, however, I made a decision. After watching this episode and reading Organizing Made Fun, an inspiring/motivational/organizational blog, I made the decision that 1 hour WILL change my life. One hour a day will change my life because it will be the hour I need to work on strength, toning, balance and endurance. 1 hour will help me achieve my goals of getting in shape and losing weight (and hopefully a couple other goals in the process). 1 hour.

I have been telling myself that 1 hour a day is so much to ask since I get home from work 2+ nights a week after 7pm; that it's too much because I feel like I am missing out on my daughters' life because I'm at work; that it's too much because I don't get to see/visit with my husband (that's how it feels).

The truth is though, 1 hour is not too much to ask.

1 hour is walking to a park and having a picnic (when the weather isn't frigid). 1 hour is more than a few laps around the M.O.A. 1 hour is a fantastic hula-hoop workout sprinkled with yoga poses and walking a tight rope. 1 hour is getting lost in my favorite songs while training for my next Milk Run (the time to beat is 45:33). 1 hour is some quality time with a stationary bike/elliptical machine and a book. 1 hour is a healthier life for me and my family.

While 1 hour feels like too much right now, in the middle of winter and the seemingly short days it brings, it's not too much in the grand scheme of things.

What will you do with your hour?

Wow... It's been a while!!

I have been wanting to do so much at school that I have left my blog to get dusty. So, I will begin cleaning my thoughts out, then bring on the pictures. That, however, might have to wait until Sunday.

During my time away, I have done a lot of thinking. Serious thinking, and silly thinking. Here are some of the highs (and lows)!

I need a haircut, and am thinking of getting highlights. I don't know what to get but need to decide today or tomorrow because school pictures are Friday!! EEK!

I like makeup. I am not really a girly-girl so I am not really sure how to apply it.

It bugs me that I can't test nail polish before I buy it. I don't want to to spend $7 for a color I don't like.

I FINISHED MY FIRST 5K!! HOLY CRAP!! I honestly didn't think I'd be able to do it, but I did! Jessica, Maria and Brian helped as much as they could. I threw a lot of things at them and they stayed by my side. I plan on doing more running so I can improve my time (45 minutes 53 seconds) next year!

We found a fun place to eat... Pizza Ranch! I've always wanted to be able to have A slice from a couple of different pizzas. Here, you can!! They even have dessert pizzas that are scrumptious!

I hate my eczema/psoriasis/allergy!! It is making me ANGRY!! I hate how my hands and feet are always in pain. I hate worrying if I am going to bleed on things. I want to be able to wear all kinds of clothes. To top it all off, I feel like I am getting arthritis in my hands. There are some days my hands are so stiff, usually in the morning. However, I STILL wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

I like cake. I really like cake.

I am thankful for my job! I love what I do and enjoy every minute. Even when it's challenging and draining. I love what I do and am thankful for it everyday!!

I want to be the best Mommy ever! I want to give Adelle everything I can and then some. I want her to feel happy, safe and loved of every minute of every day. I think I'm doing a good job, but I think I am so self-conscious that I don't let myself believe it sometimes.

I want to be the best Wife ever! Brian is an incredible person and I work every day to care for him the way he cares for me. He is truly my best friend. He and Adelle are the best part of my day!

I want to have another baby. I want Adelle to have a little brother or sister to play with. Thoughts of having another little one to hold and care for are consuming. I think about it when I'm at work, when I'm home, when I'm driving and when I sleep. But I'm scared. I am scared about if I can get pregnant again. I am scared about how long it will take to get pregnant again. I am scared about when we'd actually have the baby (a due date) and if it would be during school or during the summer. I'm scared about what that would mean for us financially. Daycare. Teaching. Everything. I know that people say it's really never a perfect time (financially) to have a baby, but my fear feels almost crippling at times.

What have YOU been thinking about?!

My Goal

I did it! I registered for the MN State Fair Milk Run!



I am nervous, scared and excited! I know there is a lot of time between now and then, but that is exactly what I want! Running is not my forte so I wanted to make sure I would have time to train and get into a rhythm.

I think this will be great!